Category Archives: ~ Secord Diary ~

What Has Come Of This Nation! When I die, Let Britain Live. October/17/1868

My final words,

There are too many stars in the sky Charles. Have you thought about it before, the way some outshine others so that you can’t even see them anymore. I guess I’m one of those now. I’m not meant to be here, to be seen, to be noticed, to be recognized. My long lost love, think I’m ready to join you, come and get me. Take me away James, I don’t belong here anymore. I’ve done my best, what I could, as a woman, you would have thought otherwise, that I could have done more, that I should have been able to, and yet I wasn’t. Charles you know, how long it took you to just get my name in that letter. Then all I get is a bloody 100 pounds from a Duke who isn’t even from here. He’s from Britain! Now we aren’t even part of the lovely old Crown. I’m disappointed in these young leaders of ours, what do they know about loyalty and honour, they’re naïve. We’ve entrusted the British for hundreds of years and the British have entrusted us with their righteousness, and now upon the utter breakage of those Americans they choose to unlatch this chain. I mean what can I do, I’m 93, it’s been said and done, a year now. You poor children, your family, Charles what will you do, I’m not leaving you with anything: no money, no recognition, no . I guess this is what the people wanted, but I don’t have time to care about that anymore; I’ve stayed quiet all these years and look what they’ve done to us! I wish I’d done more for myself, more for women, more for this country…                Passes

Below are a handful of my discussions with some of the most heightened personalities of our time. You can see some more of my messages and interactions by continuing to my Twitter account, accessible through any of the presented messages.

The conversation below also has other responses and interactions, click to see further.

The conversation below here too has other responses, click to see further interactions.

Again see further into the conversation below by clicking.

From earlier in my life you may remember a couple diary entries I shared from my Secord Diary. My life has been up and down, these only touch on a few major points in it.

My first shared diary entry:

FitzGibbon’s Garrison – June/25/1813

My second shared diary entry:

What Love Is Lost Is Gained – March/22/1841

 

It has been a long ride. The ups and downs of war, and politics, rights, and recognition, and marriage and loss. In my final moments, I give my best to my family as they move forward in this new and unthinkable nation. I wish I could stay to support you, but as I’ve said before, wishing doesn’t do any good, and my time has passed. I love you all, stay strong, I miss you already. How can I do this? How can I leave you? No, it was meant to be this way, I must go.

Farewell, love always, from Father and Mother,

My children,

Love,

Laura Secord

What Love is Lost is Gained – March/22/1841

Dear James,

It’s been a month now, since you have left us. I’ve made sure to have you buried here under the battle grounds of the war where you fought, just as you asked. I’d like to ask Dr. McLeod if I too can be buried here beside you when I die. For all that we’ve been through together, I want to forever be at your side. I want to check with you before I do though, would that be okay? I hope you like the spot. It’s quite nice, the flowers are starting to bloom now, just slowly. They’ll come with time, just like you will. They say love grows stronger with age, and I know my love for you will envelop me more and more as time passes, even if you’re not here to receive it. And one day you will be here. We’ll walk together again along the banks of the river just like we did when we were young. We’ll be young all over again. I can lace my fingers into yours as you spin me around the fields, no bombs flying over our heads. But your love is a love I will always hold hands with.

I wish I could just feel your arms around me now, your warm heart beating against mine. As I rest my head against your soft yet strong soul, and your lips press against my forehead. But I know wishing does no good, and you wouldn’t want me to be held back by you. Although these have been some of the hardest weeks of my 65 years, even more so than the raging battles of war, I feel closer to you than ever.

I will fight on for you. My love for the British will only grow, as I know how loyal you were to them, I will love them with your heart and mine. With the new Act of Union under way and running, things should be different. Word travels fast here from the capital, and I will do my best to act back and fight for them, for you. Hopefully there won’t be any more outbreaks like in 1837, they usually don’t trickle this far away from the headquarters anyways.

Don’t worry about me, I will be fine here with the kids. You know how they are. They’re all grown up. Your passing is painful to them as I, but they will be fine. As will I. We’ll find our way, our beautiful daughter Laura and that lovely little boy of hers. Our family will forever love you James, please don’t forget that.

I know you’re well taken care of. I’ll join you someday. I’m not sure whether it will be near or far away, but you will always be close to me. And I know life hasn’t always been the sunny days and blue skies that everyone wants, but with you my life will shine forever, even if you are not by my side, your rays will find me. You will always be the light of my life James. In only two months now it will be our 44th anniversary! I’ll be celebrating, and I know you will too.

I’m leaving this note at your gravestone, for you to read. I’m sorry if some of the words are a little smudged; I’ve lost a few drops of my soul while writing this for you. They’ve fallen from my eyes as I picture your beautiful face smiling as you play with the children.  Your face smiling as you lie in bed still recovering from your wounds when I come to see you, your face smiling while you drink with the men on Friday nights over the week’s triumphs and downfalls, and your face smiling as you throw open your arms when I come running home into your embrace after my improbable journey. This is what I will remember.

I could talk to you forever my love. I know you’re listening.

If you hear anything,

I love you James Secord.

– Laura

FitzGibbon’s Garrison – June/25/1813

Dear Diary,

I am writing on  a scrap piece of paper I asked an officer for, I said I needed it to pass time while I am greatly missing my family. I know it has only been a couple of days but I’m worried about all of them. I can just picture our little house in Queenstown now as I’m writing this, and all the children tucked into their beds. James will be taking good care of them: Mary, Charlotte, Harriet, Charles, and Appolonia. Oh Appolonia, she’s only three, oh I’m sure she’s well taken care of. We have a housewife helping too since James is still recovering from his injuries from the Battle of Queenstown Heights. He is still too unwell to go on any great outings, so it was up to me to deliver the message to the lieutenant. It was just our 16th anniversary a couple weeks ago on the 15th of June. James, if you can hear me, I love you. My love, I’ll see you by the dawn of the week’s end.

I’m hoping to be home very soon. FitzGibbon has arranged for me to have an Iroquois escort me back once more of the troops have returned from the battle. The men are still pouring into the garrison. I’ve been thanking them at meals and whenever I pass them in the corridors. I am so proud of them. The work they do for this colony is so remarkable. I don’t know why the Americans have so much against the British, we wouldn’t be here, in North America, without them. They’re the ones they have to thank for their land in the first place. The Patriots have always been so violent in their efforts. I remember when we used to live in Great Barrington growing up. Father was a patriot. He was so reckless in his militant actions. When he put his uniform on to go off to a battle, he was a different person. I’m glad we live here now, me and James and the kids. And all the horrible things they’re doing down there now to all those undervalued slaves, I can’t imagine living in that type of place.

I’m 37 now, so this walk wasn’t an easy journey. At times I’d say it was more of a run actually. I always used to love to run in Father’s fields, I’m not as young and spry as I was back then anymore though. It was so nice back then, we could just go and run outside. The kids wouldn’t be able to do that now, mind you, we live in the middle of an ever-changing  battlefield. It’s scary really.

I collapsed of exhaustion right after I arrived here, so I’m still recovering too. As I mentioned, the men are returning to the post still. A bunch of them just arrived. Troops from all around the area and many different groups of Indians were called together as soon as I told FitzGibbon of the Americans’ plan. Those Yanks need to be more careful about their after dinner topics when in a house of the enemy. They’d gone through about half of our stock of wine so their voices were getting quite raised. We were scared when they had barged into our house earlier in the day, but it turned out not such a bad thing.

James was worried still for me, of my journey, all on my own, he said it would take at least a day and I would have to be very careful so as not to be seen by the Americans when crossing back into British territory. But I was determined to go. I knew the message had to be delivered, and quickly!

I got here with the help of some Iroquois, just in time. Those boys went out and got ‘er done in the battlefield. We won! FitzGibbon has been back for quite a few hours now, and he keeps coming to thank me in my lodging.

Anyways, I’m running out of room on this paper. I’ve used up both sides but still have so much to say,  I’ll just have to wait to tell my love in a couple of days. Please take care, I love you, and I’ll be home soon, I promise. Pass this on to James for me, will you diary?

With all my heart,

love,

Laura Secord